• Lisa

Benefits and Drawbacks of Not Having Toilet Paper in A Cult

The now middle-aged children talk about how much they cherish soft-cushy toilet paper on the various forums, listserves, and Facebook pages we share.

As the only window on the world outside communal farms in Canada, Alaska, and elsewhere, the news toilet paper was cherished by those reading alone in wooden structures meant only for relieving bladders and bowels. Instead, the ink on those pages not only left an imprint on butts, but on brains.

The fact that people read them, hoping to find the ends of articles ripped for another ass, proves that many of those living on farms would have been happier on a more lenient, open form of government.

In the Move of God, the "church" I grew up in, the leaders drove new cars, flew small planes, and lived in quality housing, while many of those I knew used scraps of newspapers to wipe themselves in rural outhouses while giving half of their earnings to the organization run by those very leaders.

Today, apologists suggest the leaders worked hard and sacrificed.

Many ask, "Did they ever live without toilet paper."

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